


an honest answer

by bluecranes



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Confessions, Drinking, Drunk idiots, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, less hurt more comfort, oblivious idiots, yamamitsu go to a bar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 15:05:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15776532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluecranes/pseuds/bluecranes
Summary: Mitsuki and Yamato's late night trips to the bar often lead to deep conversations that leave them with more questions than answers. They both find themselves wanting more than they'd ever let themselves have. Maybe this will be the night that those questions work themselves out.





	an honest answer

“You got beer all over my shirt!” 

Cheeks already flush with the heat of alcohol, Mitsuki giggled more, his laughter swallowed by the noisy bar atmosphere. Smoke winded in the air, the thin gray wisps clinging to the clothes of the patrons like ghosts. The room was barely lit, with only a few fluorescent lights lingering overhead. On the bar stool next to him, Yamato looked back with somewhat of an unamused expression, though behind his eyes there was a flicker of mischief. He was going to get Mitsuki back for that one. 

This wasn’t a place you’d typically think to find idols, especially a group as high profile as IDOLiSH7. It served as their private getaway, a quiet little bar tucked away a few blocks from their dorm. Mitsuki scooted his bar stool closer, their knees touching as he leaned on his elbow and took a sip of his beer. The outside of the cup was dripping with condensation as the amber liquid courage that had been filling up his head with all kinds of thoughts was quickly spreading through his veins, whispering to free the words on the tip of his tongue. 

“Yamato,” Mitsuki began, his finger twirling a piece of his own hair to distract himself. The taller man leaned in, struggling to even hear his own name from his companion’s lips in the noisy bar.

“Do you believe in true love?” 

The question struck Yamato as odd, though it wasn’t exactly anything new from Mitsuki. Everyone knew Yamato loved giving his sagely old man opinions while wasted. Any time they got drunk like this, he would ask him what he thought of various aspects of life. 

_ Do you want any kids when you’re older? _

_ Do you want to get married someday? _ __  
_ If you could live anywhere, where would you go? _ __  
_ Do you believe in soulmates? _ __  
__  
Each time he answered his questions, Mitsuki would latch on to his every word, listening as if he were committing all of Yamato’s answers to memory. 

“Haha, something like true love? Of course not. Not everyone deserves love, so there’s no way it exists. There just... isn’t someone for everyone. So no.” Yamato took a longer swig of his beer, and took a long look at Mitsuki.

A burning sensation worked its way down his throat as thought about how close he'd let himself get to all the members of IDOLiSH7. What began as an attempt at petty revenge had become his entire world. Singing, dancing, performing...he had all considered it such a joke. 

But now, they had become his family.The light he'd been yearning for all along. And in the center of it, the brightest of them all. Mitsuki Izumi was his guiding light, his North Star that had led him out of the darkness of his vengeance.  He'd do just about anything for the man who'd taught him to put his heart into everything. But he’d never ask for him to do the same. As if he could ever offer something as valuable. He had nothing to give. Though Mitsuki would never ask.

The two of them had always been close. Many a late night conversation, inebriated or otherwise, had kept them up well past appropriate idol bedtimes. He had finally found his light, someone who he could rely on, and who he would let rely on him. But things had never been just that simple. He could never simply love and be loved in return. After all, no matter how much he might come to care for someone, he'd never be worthy of those feelings being returned, would he? 

“I mean, I get  _ that. _ But I mean, you don’t believe in it for yourself?” he pushed further, leaning in to hear his response.

Mitsuki could tell that Yamato was getting distracted, his eyes clouded and unfocused. It was obvious that he’d started to drift into his thoughts, no longer following what the younger was saying.

“Hello? You still there, old man?” he laughed, waving a hand in front of his face. Yamato blinked, nervously laughing and scratching his head.

“Ah, yeah. Sorry about that, Mitsu.” he reached over, gently dragging his index finger against his cheek and lingering there. There was nothing he wanted more than to trace the finger down his chin and trail the rest of his body, exploring all of him and sharing scars and stories in secret. The finger left Mitsuki entranced, the skin there turning hot. He was left breathless, with his thoughts becoming more scattered. He reached up and took Yamato’s finger from his cheek, holding his fingers in his hand as he lowered it. It was too dangerous to let himself get caught up like this.

“Ha...yeah. No problem. Anyway, can I ask you for some advice, Yamato?”   


“You know Onii-san  _ loves _ giving terrible life advice.” 

“Okay, hear me out. So…” he began his hypothetical, still not letting go of Yamato’s fingers. 

“What would you do, if you liked someone, but you didn’t know how to tell them?”   
  
“Oh? Does Mitsu have a crush on someone?” Yamato playfully raised an eyebrow.   
  
“No! Just...just listen to me and answer honestly! If you liked someone, but you didn’t know how to tell them because you didn’t know how they would react, what would you do? What if it could ruin everything if they didn’t feel the same way?”

“Well you two must not be very close if it’d ruin everything.”   
  
“That’s not true! Sometimes, sometimes when you care about someone so much, it would make it weird if you had a crush on them! And then that person would never look at me the same!” 

“So it  _ is _ about you.” 

Mitsuki laid his head on the counter and groaned, at a loss for how to continue, but quickly he felt the hand in his grasp twist and pull him back to reality.

“Are you in love with me, Mitsuki?”   
  
Startled by the sound of his full name ( _ I wish he’d say it again _ ) in the midst of such a direct question, Mitsuki’s body went cold as he shot straight up and began to babble, shaking his head vigorously. 

“Wh-what? Why the hell would it be you! You’re so full of yourself--” 

“Haha, just kidding. Don’t get so riled up, Mitsu.” Gently letting go of his friend’s fingers, Yamato attempted to hide the lingering feeling of disappointment settling over his features. He moved his hand up into Mitsuki’s hair and ruffled it gently.

“Whoever they are, they’re lucky to have someone like you caring for their feelings.” 

In this lighting, Yamato’s expression betrayed him, his eyes looking hollow in the pink lights that hovered over head, casting shadows across his angular features. The sharp planes of his cheekbones were filled in with darkness, his gaze seemingly empty. The smile that rested on his face was one of practiced convenience, the same one he gave to people when he’d rather they see his fake expression than ask him his true emotions.

Mitsuki hated every inch of it.

It wasn’t an expression fitting of someone as precious to him as Yamato. 

“Dance with me, Yamato.” 

“What?”   
  
“I said dance with me!” 

He immediately pulled Yamato off of his stool, and he stumbled a bit before catching himself on Mitsuki’s shoulder.

“Why the hell would we dance? I’m enjoying my day off, thank you--”

“Just  _ listen to me, _ okay?” 

Taking Yamato to the dance floor, Mitsuki immediately broke out into several ridiculous dance moves, posing and pointing at his reluctant counterpart and silently challenging him to outdo him. The whole situation was ridiculous, with Mitsuki quickly drawing a crowd. He was talented on his feet, and just by watching him even in this crowded bar he could tell that he had been practicing. It’s what he adored about Mitsuki. A guy who never gave up, who always does his best, who never stops trying until he gets what he wants. 

How could he say no to a guy like that?

Yamato awkwardly began to tap his foot, slowly moving his body and arms to the familiar guitar riffs of the song. It was one that he and Mitsuki often played back in the dorms behind the lull of their conversation, by one of their mutual favorite bands. He also wasn’t one to get shown up, drunkenly spinning around and going all out. Hearing the cheers of the other patrons in the bar only livened Yamato and Mitsuki’s performance. The energy began to build as soon the crowd could feel that the chemistry between the two was intoxicating. 

Mitsuki’s energy filled the air, his smile and aura radiating around them like waves. It seemed as if the bar atmosphere had come into full color. Yamato’s expression moved even the most stoic of bar patrons, who found themselves lending a smile to the pair. The duo orchestrated a dance together, working around one another in perfect time. Laughter filled the air as Mitsuki took Yamato’s hand and was spun in place, careful not to get off balance. In a flawless sequence, the taller dancer dipped his partner, leaning in close and grinning as they took the moment to catch their breaths. 

Their faces hovered near one another, and in that moment, Mitsuki could see why all of Japan had fallen for Yamato Nikaido’s expressiveness. 

The taller man held onto his companion tightly, finding himself smiling just as wide as his partner beneath him. How could  _ anyone _ deny Mitsuki Izumi’s irresistible energy?

The world seemed to wash away as the flush of alcohol on both of their cheeks only accentuated their true emotions. It had always been difficult for either of them to hide anything from the other. Tilting his head and closing his eyes, Mitsuki left all of his emotions bare to Yamato, who was the only one who could see his face in this lighting.

An eruption of cheers broke their trance and Mitsuki quickly stood, laughing and trying not to cling awkwardly to Yamato’s shirt as people roared with praise. 

“...Thank you, everyone!” 

Yamato laughed it off with ease, gently pulling Mitsuki away from the crowd and towards the door. 

“Have a great evening everyone!” he waved, before letting go of Mitsuki’s hand. He shoved his hands in his pocket, leaving a decent amount of distance between himself and his abandoned dance partner.

“Hey! Wait up! Where are you going?” 

“Home. Where else?”   
  
“Why are you upset, Yamato? Don’t walk away from me!” His voice raised, before he gripped onto the back of the taller man’s shirt, halting him in place.

“Don’t you think the person you like is going to get upset with you getting so close to a guy like me? Why don’t you ask her to dance? Why don’t you go spend time with the one you love so much?” His words came out like venom, much harsher than intended as he turned around and watched the look of hurt flash across Mitsuki’s face. He deserved it. Asking him all of those questions about the future reminding him about soulmates and how he’d never have one. About true love and how the feelings that had been brewing in his chest for over a year were nothing but a worthless burden.

_ “You just don’t get it, do you?!”  _ Mitsuki hurled back, hot tears quickly spilling over his cheeks.  _ “You’ll never. Get it!” _

“Then tell me what I don’t get Mitsuki! Explain it to me since I clearly don’t understand!” His voice cut through the quiet of the night, and there were bystanders that glanced in their direction in case a fight was about to break out. He could hear Mitsuki’s footsteps quickly coming towards him and he braced himself for what was probably going to be a punch to the face. Gravity took hold of him as he felt Mitsuki’s arms wrap around him instead, tackling him to the ground. His glasses were askew and his face twisted in an incredulous look. Just what the hell was going on?

“It’s you…” Mitsuki sobbed, fat tears rolling down his cheeks as he sobbed into Yamato’s shirt, not wanting to see the look of disgust when he realized what he was declaring. The feelings that he’d hidden for so long were all being laid bare.

“...Me?” 

“The person I like. It’s you.”

_...I’m an idiot.  _ Yamato slowly realized how foolish he had been, how he had missed all of the signs. He’d been so deep in his own self hatred that he didn’t even notice how much he was being loved by another. Mitsuki had always shown particular care towards him. He pulled his distressed companion closer, tighter, hushing him through his tears.

“Ah come on Mitsu...it’s okay. Don’t cry.” Yamato wasn’t particularly great at comforting people, but he couldn’t stand to see his Mitsuki in such a state, especially over him. He didn’t want to see him like this. Not now, not  _ ever.  _

“I ruined...everything...”

“Ruined? What are you talking about?” He carded his fingers through his hair, bystanders quickly dissipating from the awkward scene of two grown men hugging each other on the ground.

“Between us...you and me...just because of my stupid feelings…”

“Weren’t you listening to anything I was saying before?” he lifted his fist up, bumping it on Mitsuki’s head.

“If it were to ruin everything, you two weren’t very close to begin with. So. It’s fine.” Why was it so hard to admit that he felt the same way instead of dancing around the truth?

“It’s fine?” Mitsuki sniffled, looking up at Yamato with a hopeful look. Yamato reached in his pocket and wiped Mitsuki’s face of his...emotional leakage.

“I feel the same. So. It’s...fine.”

Pulling his face from Yamato’s doting hand, Mitsuki stared back, a confused look on his face.

“What do you mean you feel the same? You can’t just say that with such a lame expression!” Mitsuki glared pointedly, the way Yamato simply shrugged his shoulders grating on his already-frazzled nerves.

“I’ve always liked you Mitsu. Would you rather I said it more  _ passionately _ ?” he teased, lifting Mitsuki’s chin and pulling his crooked glasses from his face.

“Mitsuki Izumi, the truth is, I’ve always been madly, desperately in love--”

“Stop! Stop! It’s too weird! You never look that sincere!” Mitsuki blushed brightly, covering Yamato’s eyes with his hands. He reached down and picked his glasses up, pushing them back onto his face.

Yamato chuckled and brought them both up to a sitting position.

“What can I say? Mitsu’s made an honest man out of me.”

He smirked and pulled Mitsuki’s face closer, pressing his own lips to the other man’s, selfishly indulging in everything he knew he never deserved. But if 

Mitsuki would allow him, just for now, he’d do it.

“Holding back on me, old man?” 

His words broke him from his trance of their kiss.

“Hm?”

“I mean, if you’re going to kiss me, at least give it your all!” 

Yamato couldn’t help but laugh.

_ Of course a guy like him would go all out, even in this moment.  _

“Right, right.” 

Kissing him once again in the crisp air of night, Yamato was determined to give it his all, regardless of whatever the tiny voice in his head was telling him. Mitsuki would force those thoughts out, enveloping him with nothing but love. As he felt hands in his hair pulling him closer, he melted completely, becoming useless in Mitsuki’s arms. 

“Lazy…” The younger man mumbled between their lips before standing and taking Yamato’s hand. 

“Let’s go home.” 

“Sure.”

Swinging their arms as they walked, Mitsuki had a content smile on his face as they made the trek back home. The air was filled with idle conversation, quickly falling back into their usual routine. The only exception was the honest blush that remained on both of their cheeks, shameless and unrelenting.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading! and a big shout out to @mitsuyamato for commissioning me for such a self indulgent fic. I love these two boys, and I'm glad I could finally write something for them. They're idiots, but they're my idiots. They're each other's idiots. I would die for them. Ask for me to write you a fic or yell at me on twitter, @flyhinata!


End file.
